Pity...Party of One

Pity...Party of One.  Pity...party of one, your table awaits.  And for some reason I think my last name must have changed to Pity, because the last couple of months or so...I feel like I have been lingering at this table of patheticness.  I know...womp, womp.  I really don't like to be a whiner/complainer and don't understand the Negative Nellies and Debbie Downers of the world, but lately my positive outlook/perspective has definitely been skewed.  Maybe it was due to some stressful preschoolers at work (and not getting my typical fun summer break), or the constant monotony of housework, or just the neverending demands of being a mother and spouse; but I was just getting to the point that I wanted to just get through each day.  I was definitely surviving, not thriving.  I tend to be a giving person and worry about pleasing people, but sometimes I feel like I am giving, giving, giving and not meeting any of my own needs.  Selfishness shouldn't be a defining trait, but it is necessary to take time for yourself.  I kind of stink at this.  I can't say no for the life of me - and if I do feel so guilty might have been less effort to just say yes.  I just kept going through the motions, through the motions....and feeling pretty lonely and depleted in the process.

And then after attending a memorial service for a friends' mom and applying some sermons and small group lessons at church - I realized I just needed a swift kick in the rear.  Put things into perspective.  God gave me a good smack in the face and said wake up - what is wrong with you?!  You have so many blessings.  A great husband who works hard...yeah he works a lot and can be crabby, but who isn't?!  And two amazing boys who are very BUSY and noisy, but full of so much love and passion.  You need to just flip that pity party table upside down - Teresa from New Jersey Housewives style.  Well maybe God didn't say that since he probably isn't a fan of the shallow housewives show, but you get the point.  I needed a change.  A new perspective.  Sometimes when we start getting down about life, we start seeing the bad in everything.  I was forgetting the reason I am here.  The joy and hope that Christ gives me.  I had forgotten one of my favorite verses....Colossians 3:23  Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.  I was working with all my heart, but was forgetting who I should be working for.  I was getting things done, but just getting exhausted.  I need to rely on God to rejuvenate me and give me energy and zest for life.  I am snapping out of it, but it's a choice that we have to make each day.  But I am happy to say I am not currently sitting at the table, and don't plan on it.  Rather be at a table with people I love and loving the life and blessings God has given me.  I am also planning on putting a little more fun activities into my schedule.  After all, all work and no play, made Jill a dull girl.  Buh-bye seriousness...hello fun!