It's Christmas morning. Early. 4:30am and I can't sleep. Lots of things on my mind. Excitement, anticipation, a bit of mommy guilt, and questioning my parenting choices....the list goes on.
I know presents and things are not important, not what Christmas is all about, but as I look at pictures of beautiful packages, boxes, and bags under people's trees I begin to think - did I get enough? Will my kids be happy? My tree is not full. I just have a couple presents left for each boy. Partly because they have gotten several presents already in their stockings, partly because they will be overwhelmed by generosity by grandparents and loved ones, and partly because that's what I chose. They already have enough. They are blessed. Why did I need to buy them 50 new toys for an already overflowing toy closet? Its not for financial reasons. Thankfully God has blessed us with way more than we deserve. I want to teach them what's important - not greed. And buying presents and seeing joy on their faces is amazing, joyful, and priceless - so I get it. I understand it. It's tempting. It's what we do in America. It's the norm. It's why I am questioning my choices right now.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about how much they spend per child on Christmas. They average between $350-$400+ per child. Her neighbor spent around $300 per child, but said it wasn't as much as they'd like, but she wasn't working and it was the best she could do. Now you may think this is a lot, or maybe you think it's not and spend tons more. I don't really think it matters. It's not about how much or what you give your children. It's about giving a gift and showing you love them.
That's the point. If we go beyond that - why? Trying to impress someone. Don't want your child to feel left out? Every kid needs an iPhone. Right??
This is not meant to be a judgment. Not made to make you feel guilty, but simply my thoughts and trying to remember what matters. Some friends from college hosted a foster child from overseas to let him get a glimpse of what family and Christmas is like. When they asked him what he really wanted for Christmas - you know what he responded...I want to have a family. A family. That's it. A poor boy with not much and he doesn't care about toys, or electronics. He just wants to be loved and have a family. This brings tears to my eyes and I pray he gets one. I feel overwhelmingly blessed that my boys have one. One that loves them. One that would do anything for them. I want them to appreciate what they do have and not let the real things that matter be piled under a mountain of presents.
I hope they get it. I hope I remember it and not get caught in comparing or the "need" to have more. I just want to love, show love, and let them see the difference. Merry Christmas!!
